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     Dear Adam,

I just want to start by saying how much I still love and care for you but the truth is the moment your plane took off I ran into Elder Stevens. He was just returning from his mission in England. He asked me for my number and suggested that we meet up. I did and we started seeing more of each other. Occassionally, my mind would drift to you, but I figured that you were having fun with your companion and I needed some fun too. You need to concentrate on your mission thats why I'm only telling you a week before you come home so its not a shock.

I'm engaged, Adam, and I've never been happier! I was wondering, seeing how David is your best friend, he wants you to be a part of the wedding and be his best man. It is understandable of course if you can't bear it and see me with him when we said as you left "see you in white!". I know this may seem harsh but I'm way too good for you. You need some-one a little bit more in your league. David is out of my league but he still loves me. Anyway, I'm babbling, but we'll meet you at the airport when you come home! I'll look forward to showing you the wedding plans and the ring David bought me (sorry, it's the one you were going to buy me, but couldn't afford it)!
Hope this hasn't ruined your day!

All my love, forever, Christine xxxxxxxxxxx

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Before my missionary left for his mission he asked me to "Dear John" him - to which I told him, Hey, if you don't want me to write to you just say so. But he did want me to write, and he wanted me to send him a fake Dear John for the sake of his mission buddies. He left in April and about Halloween time I made up a wedding invitation with a picture of myself and an old boyfriend, having my sister write it out in caligraphy etc. Come December, I met an RM and after three days we got engaged. I then sent a real "Dear John" to the Elder telling him that this was a real "Dear John", unlike the earlier one that I sent as a joke. Unfortunately, due to transfers he received the real "Dear John" before he did the fake one. That fake one would have been funny if...

And for you who wonder about getting engaged to a guy after 3 days and only one date, we just celebrated 20 years and 5 kids together (with our oldest on his mission now).

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Amber,

I want you to know that you mean the world to me. I will always treasure the moments we spent together, and I know we will have many more of those moments in the future, considering that I'm marrying your sister Emily in two weeks! Yeah, isn't it crazy! We had wanted you to come to the wedding, but we decided we couldn't wait that long. We're getting married on May 6th in the DC Temple. I know you waited for me on my mission and I promised to wait for you, but I know God had something better in mind for both of us. But we're thinking that we might name our first daughter after you. That would be nice, wouldn't it? I hope we can still be really good friends, otherwise Emily would feel bad. Anyways, have a great day!


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear John (Jim),

Yes, this is a "Dear John" letter (email). Sorry to have it start off like that, but you always said I was blunt, well I guess you're right.

I'm engaged to be married at the end of this month! I'm soooo excited! The same day I got the internet like you suggested (so that I could email you) I also saw a commercial on TV about LDSmingle.com. Well, I signed up for that too and they matched me up with Desidorio, from Spain!

I thought it was interesting that I got matched up with someone living in the same country as your mission! We've been communicating ever since and we've fallen in love and will be getting married! We've never met in person, but we don't need to. We prayed over the phone and we felt the Spirit soooooo strong I think it would be wrong NOT to get married!

So, if anything, I wanted to THANK YOU for suggesting that I get the internet. If it wasn't for you listening to the Spirit to tell me that, then I would have never met Desidorio! You truly are a great friend!

You will always have a place in my heart!

Com Amor,


PS- Desidorio and I want to vacation with you and your family before you leave Spain! Is that okay? Aren't you excited?

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Here's a poem written for me by James W. Daniels while I was in the CTM and he was my instructor back in the old days. I share it for those getting Dear John letters.

Dear Pru,

I wondered at our parting
How long it'd take you Pru
To write your recent letter
To tell me that we're through.

I never really figured
We'd ever date again
But rather hoped and pondered
Of you every now and then.

My missionary pals and friends
Will think it's really fine,
To add another to the list
Who left "sure bets" behind.

Dear John letters are never Dear Johns,
Or so the girls say;
"I don't mean this to be goodbye
For friends we'll always stay.

I scarce know how to answer
A letter as your last,
Though surely many elders
Have done it in the past.

You'd probably like to know
Just how I feel today,
If tears are streaming down my face
From what you had to say.

But really dear, it isn't that
For which I write you now,
So calm your trembling fingers
And ease your wrinkled brow.

I write to thank you for your time,
Your presents and your mail,
For moments shared together
I hoped would never fail.

In looking back and then ahead,
With quickly speeding time,
I'll now be much more able...
To do my work with rhyme.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     I was actually in the Mission President's office for an interviews when my Dear John letter was received. My Mission President, being the dignified man he was, asked if I had a picture of her and proceeded to throw it in the trash and stomp on it. I later annotated the letter, correcting her spelling and grammar, then taped it into my journal. My comments are in parenthesis. I also kept her spelling intact.

July 13, 1977

Elder Young, (Oh boy)

Sorry I haven't written in a long time but I've been out to the ranch almost all the time. I've learned how to dig dithces (mine), rope (guys), ride - I knew that all along - cook western style and how to like western music. I really love this way of life. I'm going to live here in the west forever or until I die (what? whichever comes first). Oh yeah, I forgot. I also learned how to shoot. I only shoot targets (me), but maybe I'll go rabbit hunting soon.

Boy am I beating around the bush. There's something I have to tell you. I'm engaged and will be announcing it to my family very soon. I'll give your ring and money to your mother as soon as I get home. Please let's not have any hatered between us, we had it o-kay, but it just wasn't right. I'm very happy and hope you'll be happy too.

Keep up the good work, serve the Lord fully. May God bless you.

Yours Truely


P.S. I still would like to keep in touch and find out what you're doing (I bet). Let's end in friendship, it's best for all.

(OK, this from a girl who two weeks earlier told me to come home now or lose her forever.)

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     My Dear John was kind of humerous but at that time of my life, just as painful. My family had taken care of many foriegn exchange and foster children through out the years and having someone outside our blood relationship of our family living with us in our home was very normal. Kevin, my older brothers best friend while growning up, came to live with us for a while after his parents divorced and moved away. He wanted to finish his schooling at our local school before his mission and staying with us was convienent. We welcomed him into our home because he was already like extended family and fit right in. After his mission he choose to stay at our home till college began. While he was on his mission I became very close to a girl who had recently moved here and was very much in love with her. She was very supportive of me going on my mission and felt very good about her support and lasting the two years till I got back. Kevin gave his homecoming talk the same sacrement meeting I gave my farewell talk. I remember telling him jokingly to keep and eye on her when I left and he did. She dear johned me four months later and her and Kevin got married. Because Kevin was part of our extended family we all saw each other at gatherings after I returned home. It was awkward at first but we worked through it. It was a great blessing in my life because I later met my wife and the rest in history.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Typewritten letter received on New York Rochester mission letterhead:

Dear John (alias Elder Davis),

To introduce myself, my name is Elder Nebeker. I am writing on behalf of a mutual friend, her name is Karen Jackson. I have had the opportunity over the last little while, to become very well acquainted with her. She is as I am sure you will agree, a very special young lady. Karen has asked me to write and tell you about the latest commitment that she has made in her life. She just didn’t know how to tell you!

Over the past little while, Karen and I have developed a very special relationship with Christ, and with each other. We have united forces and faith, to help fulfill her desires and my goal. Two days after the birth of our Lord (April 8) I posed a question that will no doubt, change the path of her mortal probation. And eventually the state of her eternities.

It is a decision that came after much time and communion with our Heavenly Father. This major decision in her life will no doubt, bring much happiness to the three of us. I’m sure that you know of the covenant that is mentioned in the 132nd section of the Doctrine and Covenants where it says, “For behold, I reveal unto you a new and an everlasting covenant; and if ye abide not that covenant, then ye are damned; for no one can reject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory.” Elder, now I hope that you don’t think that we have done this without you in mind. We have wondered how to tell you this for quite some time. So we just decided to stop beating around the bush and tell you. I’m sure that it shows in the letters. The commitment has been made, the date has been set, and we are going to go for it. We hope that we have your best wishes.

Elder, this is something that must happen to the best of us. I am sorry that it had to happen while you were out on your mission. But, I hope that this will not affect your missionary work in a negative way. Karen and I have been seeing each other 3 to 4 times a week. As we have met, we have had those special feelings that must come in order to make the decision that she has. Elder, I wish that I could tell you in person, I feel that this is the right thing for us to do. I am sure that as you pray to our Heavenly Father, you will also come to the knowledge and the conviction that what we are about to do is the will of our Heavenly Father.

I hope that you are not getting the wrong idea. We are already starting to prepare for the event. She has started to invite people to it. The date that we have set is May 13, 1982. This will be the day that Karen Jackson will become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Elder Davis, in other words she is going to be baptized a member of the church.

She is ready and more than willing. Maybe what I should do is to tell you a little bit of the background of what has been going on up here. On April 6, Karen called us here in the mission office and asked if she could take the missionary discussions. We said we would work her in. The very first night that we met with her the spirit was one of the Lord. That of truth and peace. She accepted the invitation to follow the Savior into the waters of baptism. Elder, you are very fortunate to have a girl like that. She will be ready and fully prepared to be yours for the eternities.

She will be baptized in your ward, and your father will perform the baptism. Elder Burk, another missionary that has been working with her will confirm her into the church. Congratulations on your diligence in the field. You have been a very effective and influential part of her life. I can see that she is very much in love with you and what you stand for. May this bring much happiness to your day, and may you find and share the blessings of this with a new investigator.

Buddies in the Gospel,

Elders Nebeker and Burk

P.S. Sorry for the Dear John on the front.

~The letter was received 2 days before her baptism. We were married 3 months after I returned home from the mission.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Anne, I know I haven't written in a while. I received your last letter, and I'm glad you want me to be blunt, because I don't know how else to say this. I'm in love with another woman. Not that I know it's the right thing to do, but she's the one I want to be with. I remember the burning spiritual revelation I received about you, but I just can't wait another year. I can't handle being alone any longer. Don't think this has anything to do with you, it doesn't. You're amazing, as always. I know one day you will find the happiness you deserve. I will always love you. Love, Cody

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Okay, I never actually sent a Dear John... my story is more complicated than that. Before my missionary left we had talked marriage,but I didn't feel comfortable being engaged. I was crazy inlove with him and told him that, but I was also young and felt that I wasn't ready to make that decision. I told him I would write him and that we should just wait to see how things turned out between us. I did date after he left (and told him that I would) but every guy didn't hold a candle to him. Each guy I went out with was told from the beginning that I was waiting for a missionary and that I planned to serve a mission myself. "we can never be more than friends". I chose to never date anyone exclusively. I had a lot of friends. My second year at Ricks college (the second year of Steve's mission) I met a wonderful friend. He was just a great friend... at valentines day he told me that one day he would propose. I looked him in the eyes and said that if he ever brought up marriage again I would never speak to him again. I had plans for my life and he was not in those plans. I had a missionary and I was planning to go myself... he was not in those plans. My friend (Alma) backed way off. we continued our friendship.. but it really ate on me that he had said this to me. I looked at him a lot closer and saw that he was a GREAT guy. BUT I still had my committments. I even started praying, "Heavenly Father, I know Alma is a great guy, but I don't want to marry him, I want to marry Steve. I want to go on a Mission." I didn't even realize that I was praying about this - it was just something that I told the Lord on a daily basis. Then my life took a dive. I was frustrated about everything, I was confused about everything. and I couldn't focus on anything. finally I wrote my missionary about it and said something like "you are going to be home in a little more than a month. when you get home you will have to visit me in the funny farm because I am going nuts. I don't even know what is going on. I am frustrated and don't know what I am frustrated about, I am confused and don't know what I confused about. I can't focus on anything, I am going nuts" He wrote back and said, "you have just described a stupor of thought. you are obviously praying about something, the Lord is telling you "no" and you are not listening" I sat there in my room at Ricks College, staring at the letter and cried. He had no idea what he was telling me. I was desperate to feel peace in my life again. I prayed to the Lord that if Alma was the right person for me, I would marry him. Immediately I was drenched in peace. Immediately everything was clear. (except for how to get Alma to propose again). I became engaged a week later (2 weeks before my missionary came home). I felt that it was stupid to write him off 2 weeks before he came home.. so I waited. I tried to keep the engagement a secret so I could tell Steve in person. When he came home he didn't call. I waited and no phone call, for over a week I waited and I knew he was in town. I thought he must have found out.. so I called him and asked him to come over. He was acting so weird. Really uncomfortable. I told him that i was engaged and he said, "I am so relieved! I was so worried that you were going to want to be serious now that I am home, and I don't want that" we laughed and talked. So, in a weird way, he wrote himself off. I never told him that it was his letter that helped me decide, that he helped me to see what the Lord was trying to tell me. I have been married for 26 years now, and am so grateful that the Lord showed me, through my missionary, who would be the best person for me.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     This is the letter that prompted his dear john. It was dated April 1. Dear Sister ____, I guess I better start by answering your questions. First off, I guess after eating 207 banleadas here in the mission, I should be an expert. So they are a large tortilla made of flour, oil, and salt, with refried beans, creamed butter, a type of really salty cheese, and sometimes other things like eggs, chicken, avocados, taco meat or whatever. They are usually without seasoning unless they have chicken or taco meat, but the beans plain and normal are good to me right now. Okay, and what happened with the dog was we came to a house and this house was actually 4 different apartments. So we couldn't see anyone and so we decided to enter it. Then the dog came up running, but wasn't barking or anything and it jumped up on me and randomly bit my arm. All this was in silence. I couldn't even tell the dog was mad. That's that. I didn't do anything for a second because I was shocked, but eventually I cleaned it up and called the nurse. _____(Insert name of female convert), by the way, is really doing well after the miracle story and even though her mom went inactive, she goes to church all by herself every Sunday and to the activities too. What a blessing. The others are having struggles but are still pretty active. They miss a week or two here or there. So yeah. I always play the piano for every meeting we have in the mission because the APs say I'm the best in the mission. This multi zone I got to sing with 2 elders and a sister. It was awesome. I sang bass because the other two guys were tenors. We did pretty sweet. Just to let you know, I'm jealous you get to play the organ. I miss that. I'm sorry for ______(my friend who wrote a missionary as a friend and when he came back didn't say a word to her. Ever.) because she doesn't understand what happened. Here is my theory. So what girls don't know that missionaries do. So first off, in the mission, we only get mail every week. Well, it is totally dandy and all, but when we don't get any mail, we feel depressed for that whole day and sometimes the whole week. Usually the day. Anyhow, so we forget eventually about not getting mail and focus on the work. Then the cycle repeats. And so rather than suffer the pain of not getting anything, we write anyone that writes us back and send out more letters than that so we will get letters to not feel unwanted. So yeah. He wrote her to get more letters so he didn't get depressed and have the work suffer. Not necessarily because he loved her to marry her, just because he was her friend and when he came home to find she practically wanted him to marry her right off, he was afraid/ashamed because he only felt like she was a friend. Now he is avoiding her because he feels awkward because things are different than he thought they would be. The thing is that in the mission, we live differently and it is like a whole new world. We work really hard and don't have much time to think about home or anything and it is so different. We are used to here and not there. Life is so simple in the mission. We don't have to worry about money, or girls, or anything. We just have to learn more about the Savior and help others do so as well. Anyhow, so we feel so disconnected from our homes and our friends and girlfriends and what not. We still have love for them too, but it is almost dormant because we love the people here so much. We are so used to seeing dark skin and eyes that we begin to feel normal around these people more so than in our own homes. They begin to be beautiful as our minds change and all of the girls become more beautiful too. Especially the young ones. Our minds get all messed up and that is why people sometimes return and marry someone in a foreign country after the mission because it feels normal. We love getting mail still but we feel so disconnected. Anyhow so that being said, here is where you come in. So I have been here almost six months and already feel like a completely different person. Things here that I've seen have already changed my life permanently. I have seen how fragile life is and have heard gun shots in the distance and people screaming and mourning for their freshly murdered husbands and friends. (For two years, I cared for a man dying of Lou Gehrig's Disease. I watched him waste away and cried that his children, 4 and 7, would remember little about their father and never know him the way that I did. I think I'm aware of how fragile life is.) I feel so different and I want you to know I'll always be your friend but that doesn't mean you can expect me to marry you when I come home because I guarantee I'll be so much different than you'd remember and I'm sure the opposite will be true too. So you have two options. First is you can wait and write me as a girlfriend all mission long and think of me as a guaranteed investment for your wedding and then get your heart ripped out when I'm not the person you think. (I never thought of him as more than a friend until he wrote me that he loved me and then asked me to write him every week. I think he just wanted the letters...) Or you can keep writing me as a friend to live the mission life you won't know because you're in the nursing program (I told him that if I didn't make it into the nursing program, I wanted to go on a mission. I got into the nursing program. He even congratulated me and told me that I could now be a missionary nurse.), by writing me as a friend, not expecting anything after the mission but friendship, and getting a letter every time I can write you. This option is really the best because it allows you to date other guys which you should be doing anyways. And don't feel guilty or feel like you have to tell me about them because you told me you'd wait for me and I'm not expecting anything. (I never told him that I would wait for him.) Or I guess option three would be you could hate me and never write me or talk to me again because of what I said in this letter. But seriously, one lesson you should learn from _____'s story is missionaries are not investments and it doesn't matter if you write a letter every day, that doesn't guarantee he will marry you. Okay? Lesson learned. I hope you're not crying. Don't cry even if the truth hurts. Well, I still love you. As a friend, Love, Elder _____ P.S. Did I mention April Fools? I'm just kidding. But maybe I did open your eyes a little bit. :)

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     When I was serving a mission in the south of Mexico my girlfriend was serving hers in California...she returns 3 weeks before than me and goes to BYU-HI, one week after I finish my mission I recieved a letter that was versing: Dear Kyle... Im so happy that we were serving as a missionaries...I met your first companion, Carl Kahalekomo, he is an incredible man just as you said in your letters...and we're getting married next week. We love you so much and we know that you'll become an excelent man of God. I'm sorry but I CAN'T WAIT ANY MORE. Mary. It was only a week before a return home!!!!!!!!!

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dearest Chris, I mean Elder Reynolds. . . I don't know if I'll ever get used to calling you elder, :) I want to start off by letting you know how much you still mean to me and how much I admire you! Well, here goes. after we dropped you off at the MTC, we went to dinner at Applebees. At dinner, I was sitting on the end of the table, and when the waiter brought our dinner, he totally dropped mine in my lap! It was really embarrassing but now I can laugh at it. . . Especially because of who it was that dropped the food! It was this friend of mine I knew in High School! We used to be really close and dated for awhile but then He went on a mission. I found out that he is married now and has 2 little girls! He invited me over to meet his family, and I did. I thought it would be awkward because we used to date, but it wasn't at all. His wife and I became instant friends and now we do stuff all the time. So, I went to a ward activity with them once, and I met this guy named Derick Michell. He asked me on a date, and I was going to refuse, but decided you wouldn't care. (I hoped you didn't at least.) So after a few dates he started talking marriage, but I said that I was waiting for you, and so probably not. Nevertheless on the next date, we went to dinner and after when we were about to go home, he suggested we go to a park. We did and as we were walking around, he all of a sudden dropped on one knee and pulled out a ring box! He asked me to be his eternal companion, and of course you know what I said. How could I marry him? First of all, I am waiting for you, and he obviously is not a good listener and does not respect what I say! Anyway, I love you and hope you are able to focus on your work and you and your companion are getting along better! ~Macey

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Before my missionary left for his mission he asked me to "Dear John" him - to which I told him, Hey, if you don't want me to write to you just say so. But he did want me to write, and he wanted me to send him a fake Dear John for the sake of his mission buddies. He left in April and about Halloween time I made up a wedding invitation with a picture of myself and an old boyfriend, having my sister write it out in caligraphy etc. Come December, I met an RM and after three days we got engaged. I then sent a real "Dear John" to the Elder telling him that this was a real "Dear John", unlike the earlier one that I sent as a joke. Unfortunately, due to transfers he received the real "Dear John" before he did the fake one. That fake one would have been funny if...

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     I received a dear john just like every other elder on earth (or so it seems). No big deal. This isn't so much a dear john story as it is a post-dear john story: On my mission I enjoyed reading church magazines while I ate breakfast. One fine morning (after I had been dear johnned), I happened to pick up a certain issue of the New Era. After aimlessly flipping through the pages for a while, I came to rest on a familiar face, but couldn't place where I'd seen it before. So I proceeded to read the 3-page article. Halfway through the first paragraph it mentioned this guy's hometown of *********, England. Then it hit me. I yelled, "Oh my heck!" loud enough to scare my companion. He came over and asked what the big deal was. I told him to read the first paragraph of the article (the one that talked about how he had put off enrolling in Cambridge to go on a mission, won his COUNTRY in 2 different track events, and so on...). He still didn't understand what the big deal was. So, to relieve his confusion, I said (pointing to the picture of him reading his Quad), "That guy is the reason I got Dear Johnned!"

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Elder Johnson,

I hope things are going well in Boston. Sorry, I haven’t written in a while. Things have been crazy here… and yet so wonderful. I didn’t know how to break this to you, so I decided to write you a poem:

Tears fell as we said our good-byes I whispered my love for you would never die You gave me a final handshake and walked through that door For two long years I knew I would see you no more Lovingly I placed your picture by my bed My heart ached so much I wished I were dead For weeks tears flowed and I sighed many sighs Until a knight came to my rescue wearing a dress shirt and necktie He is an RM and Elders quorum president, what more could be better He is also the reason why I am sending you this letter He asked me if I would like to go on a date I was so lonely I thought it would be great To escape the heartache and have a fun summer fling I didn’t know that by our fourth date he had already bought me a ring How he proposed I would not have settled for less He got down one knee and of course I screamed, “Yes!”
We’re getting married on the tenth day of December I’m trying hard to make this a day he and I will always remember I’ve decided the bridesmaid dresses are going to be yellow We’re going to have a large wedding cake and serve it with jello Crepe paper and twinkle lights will decorate the cultural hall We’ll share first dance at center court underneath a disco ball I’m sure that’s more details than you can stand But I can’t wait for the day when he will take my hand I feel like I’m floating on cloud nine Even his mother is so very kind To me which is more than I can say about your mom I guess I’m still bitter that she “accidentally” spilled soda on me right before prom I hope that you will be able to understand, my dear friend That things will work out for the better in the end This letter is so gloomy for you it would seem It must have soaked up most the water from your canteen I hope to see you when you’ve been home for a year or two You’re welcome to join my husband, two children, and me on a church pew.

I'm sorry that this had to be so impersonal. Feel free to hate me forever and curse the day I was born. I probably deserve it. Either way, may God Keep you in His blessed sight always.

Soon to be Mrs. Right,

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     (She met Mr Right two weeks before I received this email at a going away party held for her as she was leaving to visit my parents.)

Dear Josh,

First off, I'm sorry that I haven't e-mailed you in a long time. My computer is being stupid. It freezes up and won't let me do anything. Well, now into the serious stuff. I am getting married. I know this is sudden but, I know that it is right. I won't go into all the details right now but I just thought that you should know. We are getting married in the Mt. Timpanogas Temple, on October 2. I know this is kind of a shock. No one, especially me expected this to happen. I don't know how to explain myself but I know that this is right. I have seriously fasted, prayed and thought about this. But, what I'm most worried about is you. You were a huge part of my life and I know this isn't easy for you. Just know that this is right for me and that someday you will find someone amazing, and you will understand what I am trying to say. Please try and understand that there is no real explaination for this, but when it's right, its right.


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     ( had been broken up for over a year when received - who knows why it was sent )

Elder Adams-

Hey, I'm glad to hear that you are doing good! I bet you are one of the best missionaries out there-no doubt. I just wanted to let you know that this is going to be the last e-mail I'm going to send you. I got engaged on Saturday, and it looks like i'll be getting that June wedding I always wanted! I'll be really busy with school, work, and planning for the next couple months. Since this might be the last time I corespond with you, I just wanted to leave you with some kind words. I know that you are an incredible human being. Remember how we used to say that we wish we would have met each other 5 years down the road? That may be true, but honestly, I don't think you or I would be where we are at right now if we hadn't met each other at the time we did. We were a rollercoaster, but in the end- we brought each other up so much and taught each other very very valuable lessons. You live and learn right? I want you to know the feelings of happiness I have right now knowing that I am going to be going through the temple and getting sealed and starting an eternal family. I know that you will have those feelings too. I loved you- I will never ever deny that. I know that you loved me. When you come back from your mission, you will find an equal to you who you will love... and you will recognize eternal love. I don't want you to ever settle for less than you deserve- and that is A LOT. Sorry, this is kind of an akward e-mail to write, but I didn't want to just all the sudden NOT write to you anymore ya know? Well good luck in all of your future endevours, keep up the good work, and maybe i'll see you at Jeff and Milo's wedding! LOL.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Elder Bennett,

I've been so busy lately with work and school that I really haven't had time to write you. Sorry about that. Actually the real reason I haven't written is because I've met someone. Well I've known him for quite a while and we've been dating now for about a year. You know him too. It's your brother Josh. I realize you'll be coming home in just a few weeks but I thought I'd let you know what to expect when you get home. We've been engaged for about a month and our wedding is set for July 21. I know that it's just a couple of weeks after you get home but I know this is what the Lord has planned for me and if it's what I need to do, I'm going to do it. I realize you may be upset right now and I've caused you a lot of pain but we need your love and support. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused but I want to thank you for loving me like you did. It helped me grow and understand the meaning of love and thats one thing I'll never forget. You are a wonderful person and you are going to find someone that is absolutely perfect for you. Thanks for all the good times. Josh also wanted me to ask if you'd be in the wedding line as his best man. If you don't want to do this, we're ok with it. But if you could please let us know as soon as possible so we can make all arangements that need to be made. I guess I'll be seeing you soon.

With love,

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     This is from my missionary when he "wrote me off" just weeks before he got home...

Dear Sariah,
Thank you for the letters. The work here is going good, by the time you get this letter I will no longer be in the same area. In five weeks I will be home, with my family for a few days and then off to BYU-Idaho. Sariah, what will you say if nothing ends up happening between us? Or what will happen? Cause I've learned I can't be promising things for the future because things and people change. I want you to realize that, I promise you when I get home we will go on a date but of course as you and I both know I can't be promised just getting there. I realize I said a ton of things, right now, don't think of them. Because I can't promise it will all come true. But we will just have to see. Me not writing you was not a punishment for not having written me, but its because I just didnt know what to tell you or anything like that, so that's why it took so long for me to write you. I'll be getting home the 22nd and my homecoming will be the 24th but I'm not sure what time. If you get the chance you should pass by there.

Your Buddy,
Elder Ryan Stone

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Elder Mills,

How are you doing? Are you baptizing lots? I hope the mission is going well for you. How is your health? Drinking lots of water? I was once told water cures everything ;). Well all the roomies are doing well... Madison is missing Joshua - seeing as he just left. Mike is Abby's NCMO hehe. Jessica and Dylan are enduring hay season... Vanessa is as usual - stressed with all the things she is accomplishing, oh and she has an A- in one of her classes! Jenny... well sad to say... is engaged to Brad. By the way Brad says to tell you hi! So I guess that leaves me... and well... ya, me. So Logan, I've been thinking, you are just too tall and skinny and I find it disturbing that you can wear my pants. Your hair is too short; you can't even part it. I hate Will Ferrell movies and especially The Family Guy!! The fact that you are soooo stupid that you didn't listen and get your visa in on time and now you're stuck in California complaining about it just makes me sick.

So due to higher quality applicants, you're candidacy has been terminated for the position of long-term partner. I am way out of your league, aim lower next time ;)!

Manny Handshakes,
Sister Winterton

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Elder,

I'm writing to let you know that Jen and I moved to California and are now sharing an apartment in Roseville. We have become even closer friends. We were quite shocked when we sat down and compared the letters that you have been sending to each of us. How can you tell both of us, at the same time, that you love us and want to pursue things when you return from your mission? We'll, you don't have to worry about spending your precious missionary time writing to both of us. Take us both off your list. I hope this will help you concentrate on missionary work.

Have a good life,
Morgan & Jen

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

I have prayed about our relationship and feel very strongly that it is not right for us. I love you a lot but not enough to marry you. I hate to do this to you becuase you love me so much, but there is someone out there better for you. I hope you understand.


Got this on my 23 month mark after her writing and emailing faithfully the whole time.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     I got this letter four weeks after I left the MTC...

Dear Jake,

How are things going? Did that one girl, Brindy, or something like that, get baptized? I bet that will be so cool for you if she does. Isn't she like 17 or 18? That brings me to my next point...well, I'm getting married in the morning. Sorry for the short notice, I'm sending the announcement with this letter. I didn't know if I should send one or not, so I finally decided to. Again, I'm really sorry I haven't told you, but don't worry, I know it's for the best. David and I are just so perfect for each other, I know it's right. And just think, maybe you can go back to your mission after you get home and marry Brindy? Well, I hope you have a wonderful day! Oh, and happy two month mark next week!

Yours truly,


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Hey Chase!
I'm sorry that I haven't been writing lately. I've had a lot on my mind and have had to take some time to figure some things out. I'm not gonna go into details, but I do think you should know what's going on in my mind and in my heart. As you know, Dane got back from his mission in March, and as I told you, he and I agreed to date when we got up to BYU. In between all the dating and spending time together, he and I have grown very close to one another. I found myself falling for him a bit more day by day, and now it is undeniable how I feel. I love him, and he loves me. This HAS NOT come without struggles, though. I've prayed day in and day out for weeks wondering what I should do and what the Lord's will for me was, and after weeks of being on my knees, I know what the Lord's will for me is. I'm supposed to be with Dane. Chase, you have enriched my life so much. I cherish all the times we've shared together, and I will never forget the time we spent getting to know one another last year. Thank you for all that you have done for me. I count myself as one of the luckiest people for having you in my life. Your love and friendship has made me a better person, and i'm so grateful for that. Thank you for your amazing example, Chase. I cannot tell you how much I admire you for serving a mission for the Lord. I don't know how you will take this, but please do not ponder on this. The Lord needs you to immerse yourself in His work and to serve Him with ALL your heart, might, mind, and strength. If you do this, He will bless you immensely. This is right, Chase. I know it might be hard to see right now, but the Lord has a plan for everyone. He has a plan for me, and He has a plan for you. Keep that chin up and know that i'm grateful to have had you in my life.


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Der-Bear,

I just want to tell u that i loved all of the memories we made at the golden corral! You mean so much to me Derrick, but I have found someone else as of late. His name is Mark and he is soo sweet to me! He takes me fishing and hunting almost everyday and although sometimes he punches me in the arm I know it means he loves me!! I hope the last 12 days of your mission are soo soo good! Best friends forever Derrick!

- Shantel C.
13th ward

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     As I was preparing my papers to send in for my mission call I was just friends with a long lost friend I had known for 5 years---we went everywhere together and did everything together too. With my strong will to serve a mission I was determined not to let anyone get in my way. Keith, this guy I seemed to be dating, couldn't bear to watch me go and asked me to marry him 3 days before my departure date. I said yes, "in 18 months I will marry you Keith, but until then, I am the Lords' and will go where he needs me to go. I didn't get a mission call by accident."
So he wrote me everyweek for 15 months until my last 2 transfers were left and he wrote me saying he had cold feet and the wedding was off. That same day I got a letter from a former missionary that had finished his mission in the mission I was in. We kept in touch as missionaries do who serve in the same Districts and Zones, but as we got to know who each other really was through letters my last 3 months, it turned into dating after my mission was finished. 3 weeks ago he asked me to marry him and our mission president was more than thrilled to hear the news of this missionary match from his dearly loved missionaries.
I say, thank goodness for "Dear John" letters because I couldn't have found a better guy to take me into the eternities. :)

PS--This Elder sent me a fake "Dear John" package and letter in behalf of Kendal who tried to take his "cold feet" words back a couple weeks later.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     In my mission we often compared Dear Johns. Mine always won the contest.

The front of the letter says Elder (John) Bill Hansen. My name of course is not John. The back of the envelope says "Truly, Thanks your a great young man: Honest and noble and someone I shall never forget."

Dear John ----------- Whoops
Dear Bill ----------- Whoops
Dear Elder Hansen Dear Elder Bill Hansen: “HI” I have some good news for you. --------And I have some bad news. (After reading this letter for 30 years I have yet to figure out which is the bad and which is the good news.)

Guess What??? When I have written several letters to you since your last one I have not sent them off. Because --- ---- --- they just don't say what I want them to say. (So the previous letters were worse than this?)

Here it Goes - - - - - - -(gosh I wonder what could possibly be coming?)

Aug. 13, 19xx a young man named xxxxx x xxxx asked me to marry him.

June 23 19xx was also a very special day of my life. He told me that he loved me and I started to cry. Because of happiness.

Xxxxx's Mother knew my mother & his mother lined me up to meet xxxx. May 11, 19xx He is 23 years old 5' 8” tall 129 lbs. Dark Blonde Hair. Hazel eyes. He is very kind to me. He has never made fun of my ideals & goals. (I don't think I deserved that. She wanted to have her first kiss over the alter of the temple and I didn't. As I'm writing this my wife says I did deserve it.)

We will Live at 99999 YYYYYY ave. (You're telling me this because you expect me to look you up when I get home?)

I love him very much & I respect him and love him the way he is.

He is a returned missionary from England. He has gone to college two years & now he is carpet layer.

Bill, I want you to know that I love you & I always will. There are many people in your life that you may always love & treasure memories of. But, for now, there is only one man whom I love enough to marry in the household of faith for all time & all eternity.

May you Always Be


Your Friend

P.S. I guess I'm going on a different kind of a mission. To be on earth & to raise a family is a mission by itself. Thanks for your friendship.
P.S. Br. Womble says “hi” & says it's OK. (Brother Womble was our institute teacher. I'm glad he gave his permission.) We are getting married in the Salt Lake Temple Apr. 16, 19xx. Our marriage will be sealed with our 1st Kiss. (So he didn't make fun of her ideals.)
P.S. Keep up the great work that you are doing.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

      Dear Josh,
You are my love of my life. I miss you so much! I can't wait for you to come home in two weeks and then we can get married. The ring you bought me is beautiful! Monica xoxoxoxoxo

Dear Josh,
A week has passed and I will always love you but i met someone over this week. His name is Michael. (you know your best bud when you left) yeah he thinks this with be harsh for you but he said you will live. anyway... i um.... ok i am just going to come out and say it....IM GETTING MARRIED!!! oh and the ring you bought me was not enough money Michael thinks so he is buying me an more expensive one (that i absolutely positively love!) so your ring is going to go to the poor...............sorry if i hurt you. -Monica

Dear Josh,
I know i have been a jerk and i am sorry. i know you are coming home tomorrow but, i will not be there to see you. Michael and i are getting married in new york and i will not be seeing you anymore. deep down inside of me i love you but the other side i love Michael even more. bye brett. -Monica xxxx

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear John, (that's right, Travis), I'm writing you off. I am so sorry to do it like this, but I should of told you earlier. I know you come home in a month, but about 2 months after you left, my friend, Bev's older brother got home from his mission and well, we kinda hit it off from the start. Sorry babe, I guess I shouldn't call you babe anymore, huh? Well we are getting married tomorrow, sorry to lead you to think that I was being faithful to you, but it got you through your mission, right? Now you are almost home and you are gonna find a nice girl and get married to her. After all, we were not meant to be, obviously. well have a good life. lets still be friends. love, Stephanie

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Chapter 1

1. I write this letter to my dear sweet family concerning my time in the service of our Lord and God.
2. How be it that I have served for 8 months and not received very many letters. Yea, how be it that my family has forsaken me. Yea, how be it that I have not heard from this part of the family save one person?
3. Why is it that Katy has written me and not the other part of the family?
4. Know ye not that a Mission is difficult and I go to battle each day fighting for the Church of God? And it doth make my soul rejoiceth to know I am not forsaken when I hear word from my family.

Chapter 2

1. Bryan, my dearest cousin, hast thou forgotten me also?
2. Hasth thou puttest thy girlfriend before me?
Wherefore I say this unto you that blood is thicker than water.
3. Macy has a beauty of angels and the heart of a saint. She is perfect in every way.
4. Fool! She shall be taken while you are on your Mission, not by me but by another Returned Missionary.
5. And thus ye shall see the Missionary cycle in progress.

Chapter 3

1. Now concerning my beloved Uncle. I hope all is well with thee. I hope that they children are still obedient to thy words.
2. I leave you my blessing and hope to hear from every one soon. I am Elder Kurt A Warrior in God's Army and I make an end of my writing.

Elder Michael Kurt

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Stuart, I know that I told you that I would wait for you. But Yesterday I was at a singles ward activity and I met this guy named Jose, who was visiting from Spain. Well you know how I have always wanted to visit Spain. Well here's my chance. Sorry but I must pursue my dreams! I am getting married next Tuesday and moving to Portugal in 2 weeks!!!! Love, Cindy

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Hi! How is Brazil? Is it starting to cool down, or at least get out of the 100 degree range? How is your new area? I just received a letter yesterday that said you'd be transferred soon. It also sounded like you are having a lot of success in this area. But I wouldn't expect anything less from you; you have always been an incredible missionary. Thanks for filling me in on what has been going on with your family. I haven't had a chance to write much of anyone for awhile. I am happy to know your dad is working again. Your family seems to be doing well. May family is trying to get organized again. Since my Grandpa got sick, my mom has been back and forth between Portland and Southern Utah a lot. He finally died near the end of August, so the funeral was only a few weeks ago. My mom finally came home about two weeks ago and so the family is just tryuing to get back into an everyday routine. But we are all doing good.

I'm sorry I haven't written as often as I normally do these last few months. The reason, I've met an incredible return missionary. Between him and school, I don't have much more time. We are not officially engaged yet, but our wedding date is set for February 15th in the Portland temple. I know this seems sudden, but I've stayed close to the spirit and I know that this is the right thing for me to do. I'm sorry Mike because I never meant to hurt you, but the most important thing is that we follow the promptings of the spirit, for that will bring us the most happiness and I have felt that in my life. I just want you to know that I am extremely happy and I hope that one day you can be happy for me too.
Take care and always stay close to the Lord and the spirit.

Your friend,

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Hey there!

Please forgive me for not writing! (or e-mailing) I have been off for the holiday! I missed hearing from you! I Hope that you are doing alright and that everything is good for you.. Labor Day was definately an exciting weekend.. so much happened.. my cousin and her husband just found out that they are going to have a baby, my mom got a new job, and my Dad's business just took a turn for the best....I got engaged. I know, crazy huh? It was so shocking to me.. one second I was eating my dinner and the next there is a ring inside my roll! I wanted to tell you this for a few reasons. I hope that you will finish my e-mail and not just delete it... The first reason I wanted to tell you was so that I could tell you thank-you. The fact that you and I have been able to love has really made me realize that it is possible to fall in love, because I fell in love with you. Also, to thank you for encouraging me to go on that first date with him.. it never would have happened unless you had said that it was alright. I knew I couldn't just sit around and wait, but after a year and a half I knew I needed to meet new people. The other reason that I wanted to tell you was so that I could tell you this. You mean the world to me. The times and experiences that you and I shared together will always be with me and now, I will be able to cherish the times that we had together knowing that we were able to work everything out and to be friends. I also wanted you to know that I really ... well to be honest...love you still! I can never erase you, no matter how hard I try! I am so happy for the relationship we had and I hope that you will not hate me after you read this e-mail! You are always in my prayers and I hope that you will still keep in touch. I love you!

XOXO ~Taryn

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

      Dear Gerald,

How is Uruguay!? Im so happy that you've been able to bless so many lives down there. You are such a wonderful person, I knew I would't be fair to keep this news form you. I'm getting married. He asked me yesterday.I told you about him in my last letter, he was the boy i went on that blind date with. I really am so happy about it! We have decided to get married in June. I know we made promises, but we were still in high school! And I know we said that we were in love, but you were a senior, and i was a junior. who really falls in love that young? I think we were just really good friends. I hope you can understand. I know that i am supposed to marry Derrick. If its any consulation, he makes me so happy.I hope the next six months of your mission are as wonderfull as your first year and a half have been.


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.


I think that I need to be the one to tell you what has happened in the last week, even though I'm sure you will hear it from many others. Friday night Brad proposed to me and I said yes. I know that it seems really fast, but I know it is what is right. I fasted and prayed about him and everything feels so right. We have decided to get married on June 20th in the Salt Lake Temple.
I have talked to your dad and your mom and your sister, Laura. Your mom and Laura were so supportive and so nice and I love them so much. Your mom sent me an email before she had heard the news and it was so awesome. I read it after she found out and I had talked to her and it was so amazing that she had wrote the things she had. She is such a wonderful person and I look up to her so very much. She is so strong and loving to all, truly a great example to everyone she comes in contact with. Your dad was a different story. I cried when I got off the phone with him. He was rude and mad me. I feel really bad even though I know what I'm doing is right. He told me that you told him on Mother's Day to get your ring back, so I will get that over to your house soon. I loved talking to Laura, I love your sisters so much and I always will. Your family will always have a special place in my heart. Even if some of them like your dad chose to not keep me in theirs. Derek, I just want you to know that I have loved the time I have had to be with you. You are a wonderful person and a good example to me. You have taught me a lot and I know I will never forget you. I hope that we can still be way good friends, I would love to still hear from you and know how wonderful you are doing and about all the people you are teaching. I really hope that you can still think of me as one of your best friends, I'm still the same girl and I don't think that we should have to hate each other. I think that you are a very strong person and you know that you are out on your mission for a purpose. The Lord is going to take care of you no matter what because you are serving Him and doing what He has asked of you. I'm still here as one of your best friends, please remember that.


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Kevin,
Well now you can officially write me. I'm pretty sure you won't want to, after I tell you what I have to tell you. I have some super awesome news. I'm engaged! His name is Matt. Actually, you know him really well, he was your companion while you were here. After he got off of his mission he called me and we talked. I moved to Utah in February with no intentions of seeing him, but he called me and we went out a few times, and by the fourth date, which was last night he asked me to marry him, I was hesitant. You were the first person I ever really loved. You mean the world to me and you always will. The wedding is in September, it would mean the whole world and more to me if you were there, Matt would love it as well. I pray that you don't hate me, I'd completely understand - if I was in your position I would be devastated. You're a wonderful man and have so much to offer. You will find someone to compensate for your loss. I will always be here for you no matter what, you were my first real best friend and I still love you more than anything. I haven't officially said yes, I won't, not until I get a reply from you. Your blessing means so much to me. I will be praying for you. I will see you in a month. I'm coming to Nevada for your homecoming. I talked to your mom, she said I can stay at your house. Only if that is ok with you. Even if it isn't, I'm still there cause I love you so much.
Love always,

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     This letter was sent to me a week before I was coming home. This guy wrote me everyweek on the mission. He never missed a week.

Dear Sister Olson,
I know your coming home soon. That's really exciting. How has your week been? Did Mary get baptised? How's your family? They're probably excited about you coming home! I know that I am.
I do have some thing to tell you though. I know that I told you that I was going to be at the airport when you got home. I'm going to be busy that day. I'm going to be spending sometime with a friend of mine. She's this great girl. I've been sharing the gospel with her. So see - I'm still doing missionary work. Her name is Laura. We've been spending a lot of time together. She has such a great personality. She's not really interested in the gospel at this moment. She reminds me a lot of you. Do you want to see a picture of her? Well the truth is, we're dating. I know I should have told you a long time ago. We met about a month after I got home from my mission. Please don't hate me. I do love you. I did want to be there, but I can't. I know you understand.

I love you,

(So When I got home, this guy called me every other day for about four months until his girlfriend found out and stopped that.)

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     This letter was received via email right after my missionary had gotten home.I had waited for him and it was the day before my birthday a year ago. He is getting married next month. Hey Beth, this is kind of an awkward email to write but here's the deal. Over the course of my mission I was afraid that when I got back, I wouldn't feel the same way that I did about you. At about my 14 month mark you wrote me and expressed the same concern. So we agreed that when I got back if anything was there that we would see but if not that would be ok and we'd move on. Well I wanted to be sure before I made any final decisions. When we kissed Beth it was weird because I felt absolutely nothing. No chemistry no sparks. I was startled because I expected my first kiss after my mission to be crazy. But there was nothing. Not that you are a bad kisser cause goodness you're better than I am. But as far as chemistry goes there really wasn't anything. I'm not writing this email to hurt feelings or point fingers or anything. There's nothing wrong with you I think your fantastic. But as far as any relationship is concerned I'm pretty sure that nothing will happen. I think you're awesome and would love to continue as friends but I owe it to you to let you know how I feel. Now you can go and talk bad about me to you're friends but I hope you don't because I believe that this is preferable to me leading you on. I hope you're ok. We'll talk to you later Rhett

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     An Elder in the MTC made copies of this and passed it around....it was so "out there". My son got a copy from him and passed it on to me. I edited out advice that took on spiritual matters.....as I feel it is inappropriate. If there is a sub category-----Biggest Control Freak, I think this one wins.


Elder Sampson:

My name is Matt, you don't know me but I'm sure that you have heard about me. I'm engaged to your friend Alli. First of all let me say that I am aware of your concern about the choice that Alli is making. She has shared your letters with me and told me about your friendship before your mission. I can assure you that Alli is in good hands and to use your own words, she is not "cheating herself" one bit. Your advice was good, we have "put our trust in the Lord" as you have suggested and, through counseling with our leaders and the Lord, our righteous desires have been confirmed and we will be married on Nov. 18 of this year. Again, I appreciate your concern and can assure you that Alli and I are making the right decision.

Now, if I could give you a bit of advice. The next two years of your life WILL be, the best two years of your life........(goes on for 2 paragraphs)..................Finally, Alli and I have discussed it and we feel it would be best if you did not write her any more letters. As you can tell, she will no longer be writing you, so it would be best to just stop correspondence here and now. However, if you do feel the need to write us back, you can. I live at the same address as Alli, but I live in apartment #206. Again, please do not write my fiance any more letters. If you want to tell her something, you will have to do it through me. I am sorry it has to be this way, but we do not appreciate your attempts to break up our relationship. If we don't hear from you, have a wonderful mission and serve with all your heart, might, mind and strength. Remember that you have convenanted....one hundred percent of your time for the next two years, not 50, 80 or even 90 percent, but 100. Focus on the work at hand and you will see many miracles.


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     My Dearest Elder/Sister,

I have a confession to make...ever since I moved into the ward and saw you, I became entranced by your sweet spirit and illuminating charm. Your irresistable good looks made it impossible to look away. Every time I saw you with another girl, jealousy burned inside me. I look back on those Sundays and desired to be out of primary and in your Sunday School class, just to stare at you. You may have thought that I was a little too young for you, but now I have blossomed like the Salt Lake Valley. But this does not end with a confession. The truth is that this is not a love letter, THIS is a Dear John. Truth is, I found another, and he's back. Yes, he's an RM. I won't tell you who he is because I don't want to start a fight. But if you feel like it, you're more than welcome to fight over me. I don't want to distract you from your mission, but I couldn't be true to my lover without confessing to you first. I'm glad that I've been able to get this off my chest and you were willing to hear me out.


Formerly Waiting

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     My Italian Elder Sartori:

Hello, how is the work going? Remember how I told you that I was going to go to Italy on a study abroad? Yeah, it was great. But you know what? This is such a small world! I can't believe I met ADRIANA in Italy, yeah, YOUR OTHER GIRLFRIEND! Now you're laughing. You just think you are too macho. Well, just to let you know, you can stop being so macho. You thought we would never meet. Yeah, who could have thought I was gonna go to Italy, have an American room mate who had a Italian BF who had a friend that ended up being your other GF. You are probably showing off that you have two girlfriends to all your companions. Well, it's time for you to cut it out because we know now that you've been writing us both at the same time, promising so many things, even marriage at the same time. Adriana has a BF and I do, too. We never told you, probably Adriana did, but who cares now. Focus on your mission, and realize that before you had two amazing girls that wrote you, now you have nothing.

See ya at in a few months! oh! and my best friend is going on her mission to Houston South! Can you believe it? She's gonna be in the same mission you're in now. Again, WHAT A SMALL WORLD!!

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     I had a friend who received a Dear John and this was his response after gathering photo copies of all the Elders' in his district girlfriends, sisters, cousins, etc. He then sent all of the pictures back to his "sweetheart" with the following note:

Dear Pam,

I am glad you have found someone to share eternity with. I, however, forgot which one you are. If you could please remove your picture and send the rest back, that would be great! Thanks!

Much love,
Elder Thompson

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Sam, Unfortunately I kind of have had a change of plans since you left a few weeks ago. Ya isn’t it crazy how much can change in such little time? Before I get to the point I want you to know I think your a great guy and have so much going for you and that’s what led me to Alex. You guys are so much alike its crazy. You could be totally best friends if you met someday, but seeing the situation I’m not sure. ha-ha. Well let’s just say that when you left I decided I really missed having a boyfriend and decided to replace you. The plus was that he was an rm not a beginner... so I thought to myself hey do I want it now or in two years, and anyone would say now right? So I said yes! ya, it happened a little fast. Like two days. My mom thinks he's cuter than you, but you'll have to tell me what you think. (Announcement attached to back) I think we’d make some cute kids. Well Sam, I hope that you find someone that you love as much as you loved me, like I did as you. It was fun to be together these last 4 years. I guess I realized what I missed out on. Have a nice two years. No regrets. See ya around. Laura Ps. if by chance we end up getting divorced we can always try to work things out later. Oh and I really like the ring can I keep it anyway? You still love me right?

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Hello Elder James!
Thanks for remembering my Birthday! It was absolutely amazing!!! My brother threw me a huge surprise party and like thirty people came and we played games all night, and I got DELUXE TURNTABLE SCRABBLE so I was sooooo excited!!! You don't even know! My life is soooo perfect right now, we just opened our Musical last week and it has been GREAT!!! Everyone so far that I have talked to said they thought it was Amazing! This is the first college show I've really had a big song to myself so I am way Excited.

But I need to warn you... this is the dreaded email Elder James... but you made me promise that if I ever got in a serious relationship that you wanted me to tell you so here I go. This semester I met a Wonderful Returned Missionary. He served where I was born, and just joined the theatre department here. But anyway, we've dated this whole semester and this past Sunday he told me he wanted to marry me and asked if this upcoming Fast Sunday we could have our families fast and pray about whether or not this was right. I said yes. So in the next few months we'll either be getting engaged or breaking up so I wanted to ask you if you would PLEASE pray for me. And if you get this in time I'd appreciate if you would fast for me too. This is such a big decision I could use all the help I can get. I'm sorry to be springing this on you but I've been feeling so guilty that I haven't told you so I just had to get it out in the open. I hope you know that I am sooooo eternally grateful for the time I had to get to know you, you were such a HUGE blessing in my life. You helped me realize that not all mankind is Scum haha and I was able to come back to school without hatred in my heart. I appreciated everything that you did for me... Thank you for everything Spencer. You are an amazing son of God. Well, Thanks for the support... KEEP THE FAITH!!!!

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     I sent a missionary off to New Zealand and wrote him faithfully for two years. Close to two months before he returned I also recieved a mission call and reported to the Paraguay Asuncion North mission. Weeks after he returned to the states, my missionary wrote me. He had already started school at BYU and already asked a girl out on a date and even held hands with her. We had agreed to see other people so I wrote him back and jokingly said I bet he would kiss her before the month was out. I recieved this letter in response:

"Dear Kate, I'm sorry that I haven't written you. I've kind of been putting it off. I just got your first letter from Paraguay, sounds like you're doing good.
So my news, you know that girl I held hands with? Well, you're right. I did kiss her. I also fell in love with her and asked her to marry me. I know it's soon and probably crazy in many ways. But I know it's right. I love her, I'm going to marry her on March 25th.
I don't know how you're going to react. I hope you're happy for me 'cause I am. You will always be a good memory for me. You're a wonderful, beautiful girl, and I did love you. I'm glad you're out doing what the Lord wants. Keep working hard and you'll always stay happy.
Your friend, Jack"

He married her almost 3 months to the day he met her. It has been 2 and a half years since then and I've never heard from him since.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     I received this letter from my missionary a couple weeks before his one-year mark.. A strange and uncomfortable feeling. But I know it was best for both of us. I am trying really hard to move on, and realizing how afraid I was that I would be the one writing this letter. I am kind of relieved that he did it first, even though I was not even close to being ready to move on. I am now :D ---------------------- Sarah, I want you to know that I do still love you, but now only as a good friend. A REALLY good friend, my best friend in fact. But right now, I have no desire to date anyone for awhile when I get home. I have a lot of things to do when I get home, and dating isn't on the top of that list. I am so appreciative for all your support and help, and ask that you continue to do so. You're my best friend, Sarah, and you're an awesome example to me. Please continue dating and have fun. And tell me all about it. Love, Sam your dearest friend

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     My dearest Trevor, Every day that passes that I don't see you makes me miss you more. I think of you every day and wonder how you are in Colorado. I hope you think of me as often. Life here is so quiet and lonely without you, and it seems as if the sun no longer shines as brightly as it did when we were together. I hope to be home for the New Year. I will, of course, visit your family and give them all my love. I already have presents for your two youngest sisters that I am sure they will love. Now, dear Trevor, I come to the reason for writing this letter. I think it is time I tried falling out of love with you. It was silly for us to imagine that we could be together as more than the closest of friends, considering our vastly different lifestyles and beliefs. Nevertheless, I have always found you charming, brilliant, and attractive. You know that. For a short time, I could tell you felt the same about me. At times, I wasn't sure, but I imagined us together someday. Recently I have come to realize that my someday will never come to pass. In the year that you have been away, we have written so few letters that I feel that I am no longer a part of your life. I no longer dwell on thoughts of you every day as I once did. Now that you are gone, I feel as if I have my own life to live, and I must try to move on. I know that you will be home within a year, but it seems too long to wait when we both know that a relationship between us once you return would be a waste of time for us both. Know, dear Trevor, that you will always hold a piece of my heart, and I will always cherish your friendship, but I do not see our relationship progressing beyond those bonds. So, dearest Trevor, for the last time, I give you all my love, forever. Yours, always, Karina PS- Although we both know that our relationship will not progress beyond our current bonds of friendship, I am eagerly awaiting your return and will be there when you return to meet you with open arms.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Jim, I know it’s been almost half a year since I last wrote to you, but a lot of things have been happening since you’ve been gone. I know that we promised each other that we would be with one another every step of the way and you have kept your promise. I haven’t, so it’s time I tell you why. After you left I could not bare being without something that reminded me of you. Fortunately, for me, your best friend Ryan was always willing to talk and remind me that time will pass by fast. After spending so much time together it turns out that we fell in love with each other. Guess what else? He proposed yesterday and I said yes. I have never been happier in my life. You told me once that if there was someone that could love me more than you then you’d be happy for me. Aren’t you glad it’s your best friend who’s surpassed that love of yours? We’ve agreed that the wedding will be a month after you come home. He wants you to be his best man for the wedding. I said you have always been a good sport, so your name will be imprinted in the invitations. Things between us would have never worked out in the end. I saw how important your religion was to you and my religion is important as well. Ryan has agreed to convert to Catholicism, because that’s how strong his love is for me; something I’m sure you would have never done for me. Hope things are well on at your end of the world. Take care and hope to hear from you soon. Love, Amy P.S. The colors of the wedding will be the same ones we discussed for our wedding. Isn’t that great? That way you won’t have to wear a color you dislike!

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     (this was an email, two weeks before I got home, and 6 months since her last email/letter). Hello Elder! I know that it has been a while since you have heard from me. I am sorry. You are right. I have been extremely busy. Before I go into that I will tell you what is going on around here. The singles ward is soooo small now. Everyone has gotten married or moved to Utah. I have been going back and forth between the family and singles ward. I miss the family ward. The people are so great. I have friends who just got married. I do need to tell you something. I have been dating James Bradley. We have been dating since June 8th. We are not engaged. But we are serious. I would love to continue to be friends with you when you come home. I do not know how comfortable you are with that. Your mom is asking that I be there when you are released. Would you be okay with that or do you not want me to be there? I do not want to take up too much of your time so I hope to hear from you soon. Keep your head up high and we pray for you and your companion often. We are very proud of you and your decision to serve a full time mission. Be safe. May the Lord Bless Thee and Keep Thee Always. Alice

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Michael,
You have been on your mission for 18 months now. I must admit, time sure does fly! I miss you, a lot. I just wanted to say, since you are my best friend, and one of my favorite people in the world, I am getting married!! I know that it is kind of sudden to you, I didn't want to mention him in my other letters, I honestly didn't think anything was to come of it! You have no idea how incredible it is to know that the one you love loves you in return. I told him that I had to have you in the wedding! I just HAD to! I guess I am being selfish, I don't want our friendship to be over, you promised that no matter how many years passed, we would still be friends! We still are supposed to go to Disneyland together! If you don't want to be a part of the wedding, I understand. I don't think I would want to if I were in your situation. Well, now I feel like a jerk. I do love you, Michael. I really do. Please forgive my rudeness, I don't expect you to be my friend any more. But, just know that I will always be here for you!!
Love Always,
(Michael went to Tiffany as soon as he was off of his mission, and professed his love. Tiffany called off the wedding and eloped with Michael 10 days later.)

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Ryan I'm sorry to have to do this but I'm gonna have to tell you some good news but I'm getting married next month to your best mate Isacc, i know we aren't together but I wanted to make sure you were the first to find out I respect our friendship even if we dated before you left I still think you are a prized catch you will have all the girls chasing you when you get back even if your brother is better looking only joking he told me to say that anyways thanks for the great friendship and trust we have had over the years ill see you when you get back! from Ruth

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     (I recieved this on my birthday two weeks before coming home)

Dear John(then she crosses out "John" and writes my name) Ryan,

As you can probably tell, the reason I haven't been writing the last few weeks isn't that I have been busy...it's that I was engaged last week. My fiancee told me to go ahead and tell you before your mission ended so that you could have a real "dear john" to show off to everyone. We will be married September 2nd. Thank you for all the good times. I know this is right and am happy. Have a good mission.


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear John,


Love Melissa

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     My Dearest Richard,

I wanted to wait to tell you until I could find the better words, but it is silly of me to think that once the news reaches Dover that it won't have reached Toronto Canada by morning. I'm getting married. Jacob and I have been talking about it and praying and we feel that it's right. He will officially ask Friday. I wanted you to be the first person to know. My Parents are the only other people who know as of right now. I wanted to tell you because you are my best friend ever and I know that you will be happy for me. Oh say that you are, Richard! If not it would break my heart. I don't really know what to say. Please don't delay in a reply or I will die.
Richard, you know that you can trust me to be in tune with the spirit and decide what is good. I am so happy, so excited, but my excitement can't be complete without your knowledge and friendship as a part to add to my joy. I know you probably can't believe this; I can't ether. I don't know what else to say! I am just SO happy. I love you so much! Take care of yourself and please reply.

Love always, Lisa.

She married an RM that had served in my home ward and ame back for her six months after I got into the field.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

So, I know that this is going to come as a little shock to you. but since I have been out in Australia, I have come to discover a few things. I have come to the conclusion that I don't want to deal with any of the things that I am going to have to deal with when I get home. I know you call it something like "being a kid" but that is not it either. Lisa once said that I am not commiting to anything by just dating around and not writing you, but that is not true. I am making a lot of decisions here that I would have never been able to make otherwise. So in otherwords...I am done. I am done waiting for you, I am done wanting to get married. I am me in Australia, being me. I dont want you to think that I have regretted waiting for you, because that is not the case, you have helped me to become the person that I am...me. Totally independent. When I told you that I wanted to tell Jennifer not to wait for a missionary it wasn't because I regretted waiting for you, it was just that it is really hard to deal with, because everyday your feelings for that person get farther and farther away until they are just a memory. Well, right now to me you are just a memory. You tell people that I am dating some guy and that I am in the "kissing" stage...You make it seem like kissing is a total crime. Well it isn't. He isn't the only guy that have kissed since you have been gone. Two years is a long time Sean, and obviously I am not like Lisa. I am not patient enough to sit around and wait for someone. I know that is probably hard for you to hear, but I figure since you tell everyone else how you feel, that you might as well hear how I feel about you. I know that you are probably thinking that I am totally out of line, well I'm not. I have come to discover while being here that I deserve to be treated like a queen, to my face and behind my back. No matter what I have done since you have been gone, I dont regret any of it. I am not afraid of getting married, I am not afraid of commitment. I am not scared of anything anymore. I am just me being me. The person who I want and deserve to be. I know that you are a good missionary, and you will be for the next few months. But right now, I am done. If I see you when you get home...we will deal with that then, but I hope you have a good rest of the mission and please dont be angry with me...I am just letting my feelings out. but if you are upset, that is okay too. I understand.


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Elder Ammons

We've shared so many times together. We've laughed, we've cried, and have consumed tons of nachoes while watching napolean dynomite repeatedly. What im about to tell you might shock you, but I must inform you of this pressing matter. Last month, while skiing with my family at Snowbird, I had a terrible, terrible, accident. I shattered my left femer, broke my nose in three places, broke three ribs, and pretty much disfigured my entire face. Needless to say, im in pretty bad shape and not very attractive right now. While i was in the hospital i met a man. He was there because he had an accident while snowshoeing, (a moose attacked him). Anyhow, we got to talking and embraced each others current conditions. We are engaged to be married on July the 10th. I know you get home in June and im so sorry that all of this happened, the lord be with you till we meet again. Trust me, I will never be as pretty again. Youre not missing much there.

Many Handshakes,


Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Elder Smith....

Hey how are you doin?? Sorry its been sooo long since I've last written you...but uh..do you remember Steve??..I think you guys hung out a lot in High School. But anyways, we've been talking for a while and he finally asked me to marry him. I know he's not a member of the church, but he promised me that if we get married he will agree to take the lessons from the our ward missionaries. And, I honestly believe him, I know that one day we will be sealed for all time and eternity in the temple. Once that day comes, Steve and I will go the the San Diego Temple just like you and I have always planned. I'm sooo sorry if this letter angers you, but life must go on. Just continue to work hard and stay focus. Also, dont cry over me, "MAN UP". Take care k.


Heather soon to be Mrs. West

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     The following was written by the wife of a mission president currently serving in Honduras. She said how hard it is to see these wonderful missionaries receive Dear John’s, and so she wrote this letter in response; and will mail it if the missionary so requests!

Dear Susie Que,

I read your “Dear John” letter to Elder…………

It was pinned up on the dart-board along with your wedding announcement. I have to say, you have received several pretty good hits.

All the “Dear Johns” are posted on the board where the elders can read them and vote on the ”most creative attempt at sensitivity”. Your letter was quite good. However, many of the phrases you used, the elders have heard many times before. And so other letters received more points.

In your letter, you expressed concern for Elder………, wondering how he would handle the news of your upcoming marriage. You will be pleased to know that he did not seem upset. In fact, he appeared somewhat relieved.

We have excellent missionaries in our mission. They are very focused on doing the Lord’s work. Most of them soon discover that girlfriends at home can be a distraction.

Elder…….is one of our best missionaries. He has no distractions now, and that is probably why he is such a happy and successful missionary.

As the mission president’s wife, I have the opportunity to see these missionaries grow and develop into confident, powerful men.

I am also a marriage and family therapist, and I know the variables that are important for a successful marriage. Elder…………is developing those characteristics beautifully. By the time he returns, he will be ready for a mature relationship.

Once the girls at home see him, and discover what a fine man he is, they will be lined up, hoping for a chance to date him. His greatest challenge will be choosing which, of all these wonderful girls, he will marry.

But I know he will choose well, because Elder……… is a Tiger!


Hna. Johnson

P.S. By the way, with all the exercise Elder………has been getting every day, he has become toned and tanned. Buffed, I think is the word. Yes, he is looking especially handsome lately. I hope by the time he returns, you will have moved far away, so you will have no regrets.

Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

     Dear Elder Smith,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as "Mr. Right". As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.

I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:

·__Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

·__The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.

·__You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

·__ You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.

·__You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.

·__You have a hairy back.

·__ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

·__The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

·__Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.

·__Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

·__Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long term partner.

·__Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

·__The fact that you categorize the ProBowler's Tour as 'must see TV' demonstrates that you do not meet my intelligence requirements.

·__Although I do plan to support my husband in his interests and hobbies, watching you beat the 67th level of Tetris does not rank in my book as “quality time”.

·__Your decision to buy me a wrench for my birthday after I had specifically requested perfume shows a gift selection impairment I feel unequal to correct.

·__Our culinary tastes diverge too greatly. You consider Rice-A-Roni a banquet, and believe pesto is a cleaning product.

·__My idea of a dream home does not have the words, “double-wide” in the title.

·__I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.



Names, places, and dates have been changed for privacy.

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